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maiden, bruce

Hey there guys!


I haven't posted a lot lately, sorry. We went through some rough stuff here at home... My mom's diabetes took a turn for worse and unfortunately she died last December.

We all felt terrible of course but my father was a total mess. Christmas and New Year's Eve were total shit... Anyway, we are beginning to pull ourselves back together now and I think I'm ready turn a new leaf. Life kinda sucks still but everybody has problems right?


Well, I'm back! Let's try to have some happy thoughts for a change!

Comments

I'm sorry for your loss too. Let me ask you something - do we ever get over something like this? I don't want to sound overdramatic but I feel like every time things start to go well some thing or another happens and we're back to tears... Not to mention that I kinda feel guilty for moving on... Will it always be like this?


Thank you for your support!
There is no easy answer to your question, to be honest.

It does get easier in some ways-the hurt isn't as raw, and as time goes by it becomes less of a gaping wound and more of a dull ache. But it's been almost three years for me, and it still hurts. I don't think it ever goes away completely, but it does get easier to bear. But no, I don't think we ever get over losing our moms, at least not completely.

I still cry at random moments because I miss my mom...we took my kid to Nickelodeon Live this weekend and I was fighting back tears because it was something my mom would have loved to take Viv to. I have found that I can go for long periods without crying or even feeling too badly about it, but then something will happen and I will just weep and weep like she died yesterday. It's not uncommon, it's perfectly normal, and as time goes on it will happen with less frequency. But those first six months or so are the worst.

I felt guilty for a long time as well, but I took great comfort in knowing that my mom would have kicked my ass for NOT moving on. It's so hard in the early months because you feel like you're betraying them for being happy without them, but I don't personally think that it's true. I think those who love us who have passed on want us to be happy-especially moms, who want nothing more than for their children to be happy. It feels weird, but it will get easier.

I wish I had some more comforting words. I really wish I did. But if you need anything, email me. I know how sucky this time can be.
Sometimes I just want to scream and stomp my feet until someone gives her back to us. Christ, just saying this makes me tear up a little...

It's so hard in the early months because you feel like you're betraying them for being happy without them, but I don't personally think that it's true.

Oh God, this is EXACTLY how I feel. I was beginning to think I was a freak and the guilt was driving me crazy. I feel terrible when I miss her and I also feel terrible when I don't. It was so good to hear that this is actually usual.

I wish I had some more comforting words. I really wish I did. But if you need anything, email me. I know how sucky this time can be.

You've helped me a lot, believe me! Thank you so much! If I feel down again I'll email you.

Thanks again ♥
POTO married

April 2010

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